your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
