i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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