Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
