Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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