wat bout pragnant strippers??
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
