she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
