Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
