We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
