Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
