So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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