Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
soo... how was my night?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
