Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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