well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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