I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
