he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
