So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
