every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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