I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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