Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
