32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
