does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Less talking, more tequila
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
