Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
