Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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