Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
