your room smells of hookers.
And success
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
