the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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