my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
