can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
