So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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