There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Boobs speak an international language.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
