Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
