Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
