I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
