And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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