i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
