Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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