So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
