8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
