just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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