problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
