His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
