Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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