he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
