Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
