I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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