Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
