i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
