i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
