oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
