you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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