i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think my moral compass just broke
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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